


Siriusly Remus

by Detroitbecomevenom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, WandaVision (TV)
Genre: 1950s, Dubious Morality, F/M, Fluff and Humor, It Gets Worse, M/M, POV Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sitcom, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, remus is coping, wandavision spoilers if you haven't seen them, wizard slurs used
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:48:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29133567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Detroitbecomevenom/pseuds/Detroitbecomevenom
Summary: Remus couldn't ask for a better life. Living with his best friends and getting into all of their usual hijinks. That's the life he's living, right?Everybody Loves Remus is filmed in front of a live studio audience...
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Siriusly Remus

**Author's Note:**

> hey. if you haven't watched WandaVision and plan to, maybe leave this until you watch that series as it will follow the plotline of that show. Also, if you came for a good ending, this is not the fic for you :(
> 
> also you can totally think of the andrew garfield/ben barnes cast for this one because...well you'll find out when it takes place, but it's certainly not in the Golden Trio Era
> 
> also homophobia of the 20th century be damned remus and sirius are together :)

The sun is bright and a musical chime is heard above the Potter household. Well, the Potter-Black-Lupin-Pettigrew household, with the three stowaways still living in the spare bedrooms of James and Lily Potter.

We can finally see the couple. James, the messy hair and round glasses, his dress shirt carefully tucked into his pants, sat at the dining room table with his nose stuck in the Daily Prophet newspaper. Lily, with beautiful curls, a dress that accentuated her figure, and the familiar sparkle of her wedding ring, sat on the other side of the table with a coffee cup in her hands.

“Did you know that they invented doors that open and close on their own, Lils?” Jammes commented, dramatically slamming the paper down onto the table so that his face could finally be seen. He raised an eyebrow at his wife.

“I don’t know, dear. Sounds like some form of witchcraft to me,” she smiled and winked at James before taking another sip of her coffee. They could almost hear some kind of audience laughing at her joke with them. 

Just then, the door to the joined kitchen/dining room opened and a tired Remus walked through the door, robe on and hair unkempt. He didn’t bother acknowledging the other two in the room and headed straight for the fridge. He pulled out a carton of orange juice and poured it into a glass, leaning on the counter and drinking it with his eyes threatening to shut on him.

“Hello to you too, Moony!” James shook his head with a laugh at his friend. Seven years of sharing a dorm and it still surprised him at how _not_ a morning person Remus truly was. He responded with a nod of his head and another sip from his glass. It was bad enough that he had to wake up early on his day off, but he woke up to an empty space where Sirius was supposed to sleep. Must’ve left for work early, he presumed.

Lily left her seat and made her way to the kitchen to clean up from the breakfast she made earlier. She, too, had to encounter the frightening form of a sleepy Remus Lupin. “What’s on your mind, Rem?” She took the carton out of his left hand and placed it back into the fridge.

He took another sip from his glass. “I feel like I’m forgetting something. I just can’t put my finger on it,” he squinted, trying to remember. Exactly _what_ he was trying to remember, he didn’t know in the slightest. He knew that it was something important, but if it really was important, why would he forget it?

“Maybe it was to brush your hair,” James chuckled from his seat, returning to the paper to read a column about the latest Quidditch match. 

Remus threw his hand up to his head and patted down his hair to the best of his abilities. It slowly rose again to stick up in the same directions from before. He sighed. Maybe it was time to take the hair advice from Sirius when he returned. Sirius. Whatever he had to remember definitely had something to do with him. Was it their anniversary? Did he have a meeting with his boss today? 

Remus was still stumped. His attention was ripped from that thought process when Peter walked through the door. “Have you ever seen a more beautiful Wednesday in your life? Prongs? Moony? Lily?” He shrugged off his jacket and hung it on the coatrack. He carefully took the last remaining piece of bacon that Lily made and starting eating with a satisfying crunch.

“What’s so special about today? It’s only November third,” James spoke from behind the paper. 

Remus felt the glass slip from his hand and shatter when it came in contact with the floor. The color in his face drained. Shards of glass and juice covered the floor around him. The three of his friends stared at him in disbelief.

Lily removed her hand from covering her mouth in shock, “Remus! What’s got you so shaken up about November third?” She resisted the urge to clean the mess before it soaked into the floor she spent so much time trying to look good. 

“I forgot Sirius’s birthday! It’s today,” Remus’s mind started to scramble. How could he forget the birthday of his boyfriend of five years? He suddenly felt like the worst possible partner that Sirius could ask for. He paced around the kitchen as the other three watched.

He paused. It was as if the lightbulb over his head finally turned on. “Sirius gets back home at two. Do you think that’s enough time to set up a surprise party?” He glanced at the clock that pointed to the twelve and the nine. If they wanted to set up a surprise party, they only had five hours to do it. 

Peter jumped at the occasion. He always loved planning parties, but never necessarily being in the parties themselves. A little on the shy side, he was. “I’ve got nothing else to do. What do you need me for, Moons?” 

He smiled, turning to James and Lily with raised eyebrows. “Please?” He leaned over the counter to give them his best sad puppy eyes. They were bad friends for forgetting, too, so it wasn’t entirely his fault that he forgot. 

James rolled his eyes, “Fine.” 

Remus nearly hopped in excitement. It was all coming together. Sirius would come home to this amazing party that his oh-so-generous boyfriend planned for him and have the best birthday ever. It was simple.

~~~

Are you _tired_ of the same old routine? Do you want some adventure in your life? Do you sometimes think that your life is _too perfect_? 

Look no further than a trip to Azkaban, the world’s finest paradise for those who need a getaway for their soul! 

The Ministry of Magic only sends the finest people and once you’re here, you’ll be famous in the Wizarding World. Our top of line Dementors will protect you and your fellow visitors from ever getting back to your boring old life! 

Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange are two of our newest guests to visit Azkaban and they only have good words to say about the man that bought them their tickets to stay there.

“The Dark Lord will return! He’ll be back and all of you mudbloods will pay!” Says Bellatrix, who is enjoying our resort so much, she’s chained herself in! We’re sure that Bella will surely enjoy herself, especially now that her cousin is set to join her very soon. 

Azkaban: you’ll never ~~want to~~ leave!

~~~

Once again, Remus Lupin was pacing around the kitchen. It seemed to be a common thing that he did nowadays. James was perched on the kitchen counter, holding his glasses to his face and trying to read the back of the box of cake mix. “We need eggs, water, and vegetable oil,” he read off aloud to Remus. 

He makes a mental checklist and looked around the room. The faucet would give them water.  _ Check. _ He checked the fridge to make sure they had enough eggs.  _ Check. _ Now for the vegetable oil. He paused. What the hell was vegetable oil?

“How do we get vegetable oil?” Remus muttered to himself, now sifting through the collection of vegetables that were kept in the fridge. There was a wide variety, which just confused him more. How does he know which vegetable to get oil from? And there was still the question of obtaining that oil.

“It doesn’t say anything about getting vegetable oil. Maybe you don’t need it?” James suggested. If it was in the instructions, it must be important. But then again, if they never tell you how to make it, then surely it wasn’t  _ that  _ important. 

Remus shrugged, “Alright, then. Get the mixer and let’s get baking.” He grabbed the eggs and a measuring cup while James pulled the hand mixer out from a taller cabinet. This cake was going to be absolutely amazing, he could tell already.

Meanwhile, Lily and Peter got to work on decorating the house. They didn’t exactly have party supplies already, so it was time for a little do-it-yourself work for the both of them. Lily grabbed all of her craft supplies while Peter looked for the material.

He returned with curtains and loose papers from James’s home office. They weren’t the best options, but they would do well enough for the party’s sake. And there was no doubt that Sirius wouldn’t even notice that his shower curtain was missing. He might even think of it as an improvement.

“Should we make streamers out of these curtains? And then maybe hang them across the ceiling and over this doorway?” Lily suggested, trying to paint a picture in both of their minds, her arms outstretched in the directions that she was envisioning streamers to go.

Peter smiled, “That’s exactly what I was thinking.” All they needed to do was get to work and everything would be fine. Sirius was going to love it. 

Or, that’s what the two of them kept repeating in their minds as they sliced through the curtains that used to hang in their home.

After an hour, but in reality, it felt like life cut through the time, James and Remus had finally whipped up cake mix that looked adequate for them. The amount of mix in the pan would have been much more if the two of them knew what went into mixing batter.

It seemed like there was more on the walls and on their clothes (and hair and face…) than there was in the pan. The ding of the oven finally heating up to the correct temperature brought them a sigh of relief. It was a waiting game for them now.

Remus placed the pan into the oven and got a look at James for the first time. “Wow, you look absolutely terrible!” He laughed at the batter-covered James, not even considering that he looked equally as ridiculous as his friend. 

“Why don’t you take a shower while we wait for it to bake, huh?” James washed his hands off and shooed Remus back to his room. He and Sirius shared one with a connected bathroom. 

Walking into the bathroom, he noticed a huge space where the shower curtain used to cover. He furrowed his brows, looking around to see if it fell off. “Where is the bloody curtain?” he whispered to himself, still finding nothing. Well, the concept of a nice & warm shower seemed to go down the drain. He resorted to washing his hands and face off in the sink and dealing with this missing curtain problem later. 

His main priority was to plan this party. He returned downstairs to see the living room covered in streamers of familiar patterns. Lily had extra fabric lying around for them to use, most likely. He probably saw the patterns in one of her dresses. The decorations didn’t look outstanding, but they were good enough for him and he was sure that Sirius would enjoy the effort that they put in.

He did have a thing for chaos. 

Shaking his head, he headed back to the kitchen where the cake should be nearly done baking. James was once again sitting on the counter, Daily Prophet in hand. The little timer sat next to him, the hand was near the zero and getting closer by the second. Of course, if it didn’t do that, it would be broken.

“Did you even get Padfoot a present?” James asked from behind the paper. The thought hadn’t occurred to Remus that he needed to get a gift. That was essentially the entire part of a birthday, to give gifts to the person having the birthday. Not only did he forget that it was his birthday, but he didn’t even get a gift! What a lousy boyfriend he was.

“I didn’t exactly think of that, Prongs. Now I’m more worried,” he wondered if it was possible for him to run to the store to get something before he returned home. If he did that, then it would be obvious that he forgot and was buying the first thing that he spotted and could afford. Maybe his presence would be present enough for Sirius.

Ugh, who was Remus kidding? He was already difficult to deal with, considering his furry little problem. Sirius deserves so much more than a poorly planned party and the chance to spend time with the person he already shares a bed with. He was going to hate it.

The ringing of the timer brought him out of his own self-doubt. He grabbed over mitts and pulled the cake out of the oven. It didn’t look like the cake on the cover of the box, but it was okay enough. Whatever looked bad, he could cover up with the frosting. He prepared the chocolate frosting as it cooled down. He didn’t want the cake to be a complete disaster with melted frosting all over it.

He was adding the finishing touches to the cake when everyone heard the jingle of his house keys sliding into the lock on the front door. Remus looked over the cake once more, making sure every letter in  _ Happy Birthday Padfoot  _ was spelled correctly in his messing icing-handwriting. 

He wiped his hand on a towel and rushed out of the kitchen with the cake in his hands, awaiting the door to open. James, Lily, and Peter stood next to him, big smiles on their faces. When the door opened to reveal a tired Sirius, he was certainly surprised to have all of his best friends shouting their own happy birthdays at him. “I thought we weren’t going to do anything this year,” he threw his jacket on the coat rack and walked closer to see the cake in Remus’s hands.

“You’d think we’d forget to throw the most important party of the year?” James joked, almost slapping his back in nervous laughter. If only he knew the reality of their little situation. 

“It’s not much, but we worked with what we had,” Remus set the cake down on the table. He felt the strong arms of Sirius wrap around him and he kissed him on the cheek.

“I couldn’t ask for anything better. Everyone I love is in the same room as me,” he laughed, looking around the room at the four of them. He furrowed his brows as he got a closer look at the nearest streamer. “Is that our shower curtain?”

The five of them laughed, with the faintest feeling like an audience laughed with them. All was well that night. They indulged in James and Remus’s (slightly odd tasting) cake and celebrated until the sun rose again in the morning. 

**Author's Note:**

> trust me on this one, it will get more interesting!
> 
> this first "episode" was a little 50s-like sitcom episode, the next one will be in the sixties ;)
> 
> don't worry yall i have a plan!


End file.
